Ponderings Of My Heart -
Journals Of A Young Mother1 Looking Back To My Journals
"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
Back in 1984 my mother in law gave me a wordless book so that I could start keeping a journal. My two sons were 3 years old and 8 months old. I was young and trying to bring my children up in God's Word. I really liked this verse in Luke and wrote it on the first page of my journal. For the next few years and through several journals I wrote of things that I pondered in my heart about the joys and pains of being a wife and mother. Mike and I were blessed with two more sons and a daughter and now we have three grandchildren, with three more on the way. As we begin to look towards Mother's Day I would like to pull out my old journals and share some of the entries for our daily devotions.
2 Who is God?
Journal Entry From 1984
"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." Genesis 1:1
"In the beginning God..." "Who is God?" How do you answer a three year old? He can't see God, but he can see what God has created. He can't hear God speak, but I can read to him from God's Word. He can't reach out and touch God, but he can feel God's love through us. We can teach him to talk to God and trust in Him through prayer. You can't teach a child who God is in a five minute lesson; I think it takes a Christian leader he can watch and compare to , to begin to understand the love and mercy of God. Matt knows that God made the earth; that Jesus died for our sins; that He rose and lives in heaven; and that we can go to heaven when we die if we're God's friends. Simple truths for a three-year old, yet many adults don't believe.
3 A Child Like Faith
Journal Entry From 1984
"And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so." Genesis 1:11
Matt looked at the trees in the yard one night and asked, "How is God's arm so big He can reach way down to make a tree?" I tried to explain that God said it, and it was there. He still didn't understand, so I told him that we have little minds and can't understand how God is so big. God speaks and it happens. Mike then reminded him of the story of Jesus calming the storm. The winds and waves stopped when Jesus said it. This was enough for Matt. He believes that God speaks and that's enough. I wish adults had faith like his. We, as Christians, seem to forget sometimes that God has everything in control. He spoke and created the world, but when He speaks to us we don't fully obey. I am reminded of the words of our Lord in Luke 18:17, "Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein."
4 Teaching Our Children
Journal Entry From 1984
"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 6:7
This commandment is so important it is recorded twice. Teach God's rules unto your children at home and away from home, and at evening and morning. God wants us to use all available time to teach our children about him. We need to show God's love in ordinary, daily things -- whether it's the sun shining brightly or a gentle falling rain; a honey bee in the garden or eating a meal of fresh vegetables. And sometimes God sends a special blessing as the beautiful rainbow in the sky after the bad thunderstorm which blew over a tree in our yard, [God's protection and promise.] So many things can be taught about God's love -- It's seen in everything around us.
5 He First Loved Us
Journal Entry From 1984
"We love him, because he first loved us." I John 4:19
Matt's new Bible verse. When he was smaller and asked, "Why do you love Jesus?", he would always say, "Because He first loved me." Having learned this, the Bible verse comes easy for him to remember. Such 'simple truths'. We need to spend more time meditating on these 'simple' verses. Adults often want to study deep hidden secrets in Revelation and Daniel, or find answers to unanswered questions in Genesis. Why not go back to the basics? Verses such as this can be used as a testimony of our lives. Christ loved us when we didn't even know Him. He loved us even though we were lost in sin. Anyone who believes in Christ and His dying and saving love, can't help but love Him.
6 He Brought Us Out To Bring Us In
Journal Entry From 1985
"And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers." Deuteronomy 6:23
Moses has told the children of Israel to be prepared and ready to tell their children about bondage in Egypt. He reminds them of God's great deliverance, and the miracles which they have seen. But God didn't bring them out of Egypt to let them die in the wilderness; He brought them out, to bring them in -- into a land flowing with milk and honey. Milk, a rich land to feed their livestock, streams of water, and rains in their due season. All the necessities of life were in this new land. (Deuteronomy 8:6-10) Honey, not only were they given their needs, but also sweeter things in life. Honey and those large grapes of Eshcol which they had not planted. This new land was prepared for all those who would go in. God has also brought us out, to bring us in. We were slaves under Satan, working like the Israelites in Egypt, building mighty cities for his kingdom. But God brought us out. It took a miracle, the death and resurrection of His own Son. He didn't just bring us out and leave us in darkness, He brought us out to bring us in. Out of Egypt, slavery under sin -- into Caanan, a land flowing with milk and honey. He provides all our needs, and gives us sweetness along the way. We need to be prepared and ready to tell our children how God has brought us out of a life of sin and into a new life in Him. We need to tell them how God is preparing a place for us, a new home in heaven, where we will wander no more.
7 On Being A Deacon's Wife
Journal Entry From 1985
"Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things." I Timothy 3:11
Sunday, October 6, 1985, Mike was ordained to be a deacon. He has spent the past year being "proved". (I Timothy 3:10) Matt didn't understand the service, so we tried to explain it to him. Before church he said, "The Bible says the deacons have to sit on the front row, and the wives behind them, but it doesn't say where the children sit." In all of our talk Sunday morning, I guess we had excluded him and his part in our family. He did not want to stay in the nursery with Daniel and David so I let him sit with me. He was very good during the service and quiet until the laying on of hands, at which time he turned to me and asked, "Why is the preacher holding Daddy's head down?" Matt isn't quite 5 and I guess things did seem unusual to him. The Holy Spirit blessed us during the service and it surprised me to see how much the people care for us and love us. It brings a great responsibility to know I need to walk even closer to the Lord, so that I am never a stumbling block to anyone. It is my prayer that I will be the wife of a deacon that I should be, and be "faithful in all things."
8 Teaching Our Children To Seek Wisdom
Journal Entry From 1985
I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths." Proverbs 4:11
When God told Solomon that he could have anything that he wanted, he asked for wisdom. The book of Proverbs is centered around wisdom. Why did Solomon ask for wisdom? Because David, his father, had taught him to want wisdom; Proverbs 4:3-11 show that David had taught Solomon to seek wisdom. "For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee." When we read verses 10 and 11 we see that Solomon is also teaching his son to seek after wisdom. "Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many. I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths." I hope that I can teach my children to seek wisdom from God.
9 The Death Of A Child
Journal Entry From 1985
"Jesus wept." John 11:35
Jesus wept at the death of a loved one. Matt sat beside the sweet little red haired girl in Sunday School just minutes before she became ill, a deathly illness she would not survive. In 2 days she died at the very young age of 3. Matt asked me why God let this happen, "Why didn't God make her get better?" My only answer, "I don't know." Many times we don't understand why things happen. It must be especially hard for Matt. He is so used to God answering his prayers, yet he prayed earnestly for his friend the 2 days she was sick. A couple days after her death, I told Matt that she would be with Jesus on His birthday. Matt then answered with a statement which is so real for all of us. He said, "I bet she didn't want to, but now I bet she likes it." His statement lifted my heart. I realized that he finally knew that it was for the best and that God had not done wrong in letting her die. As Matt said, we don't like the idea of death, we don't want to die, but better things await for the child of God. It's natural to weep for those who die, Jesus wept, but we must also 'go on' and wait for the day when we will be reunited with Christ and our loved ones in heaven.
10 Be Kind One To Another
Journal Entry From 1986
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32
A couple weeks ago we went to a basketball game at the Middle School. Matt and Daniel seemed to get a little impatient between the girls game and the boys game. Mike told Matt the boys would come out soon and "warm-up". Matt looked up at him sincerely and asked, "Why? Are they gonna' be cool?" At that moment I realized that many times I just assume they understand things and I don't take the time to explain things to them. This was proven again this week when Mike told Matt and Daniel he would fix them a "TV Dinner" for supper while I was not home. They thought that was so funny. They didn't want to eat a TV. In dealing with their discipline, I realized that maybe they do not always understand the rules and unspoken laws of good behavior. I decided to find Bible verses and post them on the refrigerator to remind them of things that I assume they know. The first portion of this verse has been used a lot. When they start arguing, fighting, or being ugly to one another, I remind them that God's Word says to be kind one to another. I hope this will help them develop convictions of their own and keep them from following my standards just because I make them. When they are older there will be many times when Mom and Dad aren't there to make them behave. I hope they can always remember to be kind.
Next Entry...
"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26
I want to be a virtuous woman as described in Proverbs 31. I want to be a godly mother, but it seems like the harder I try, the more I see my failures. I want my children to be kind, but do I rule my household with the law of kindness? I need to remember to be kind to my children, just as I remind them to be kind to each other.
11 "My Feet Are Too Big"
Journal Entry From 1986
"The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments." Habakkuk 3:19"
With the furniture market in town, I am working 9 out of these 10 evenings. My feet get so tired and heavy, and I seem to drag along. But here is something to sing about. God is my strength. He can put a spring in my steps, and help me climb and walk over the mountains and through the valleys of life. We were coming home late one evening and Daniel said, "I can't hardly walk, Mama." I asked him why and he said, "Cause my feet are too big." Whether we're 2 years old like Daniel, or 25, or even older our feet get heavy when we're tired. But God is our strength. We also read in Psalm 18:33, "He maketh my feet like hinds' feet, and setteth me upon my high places." I never really took time to think about these verses even though I remembered the phrase. I now realize that God lightens our steps. He brings us to high places, and we are never alone, even in our most tired and dark state. There are people all around us who get tired and lonely. We need to remember these verses and know we have something to sing about.
12 Clean House Or Read To My Children?
Journal Entry From 1986
"Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." Proverbs 14:4
I really like the book of Proverbs and this verse jumped out at me while I was thumbing through the pages. Sometimes it seems as though all my work is in vain. I wash dishes and clothes and pick up toys daily for three little boys and still things pile up. I get so tired at work in the evenings and don't feel like getting up in the mornings. This verse came at a good time. I can reword it like this, Where no children are the house is clean: but much joy is by the laughter of the children. I took time today from my cleaning and just gave my time to my children. We sat and read books most of the morning. I need to take more time for them and not let myself get discouraged when things aren't as neat as I would like them to be. I could have a clean house, or happy children. I'll keep my happy children.
13 An Answered Prayer
Journal Entry From 1986
"O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people." Psalms 105:1
A verse for all times...
Past -- "O give thanks unto the Lord", for what He has done, for being with us each step of the way.
Present -- "call upon His name", pray constantly for His guidance and protection, for wisdom and understanding.
Future -- "make know His deeds among the people". Go and tell what God has done. Lord, help me to go and tell. Help me to be bold and witness. Give me the words of wisdom that lost friends need to hear.
A Gideon stopped to help me change a tire on Highway 85. He asked me if I knew I would go to heaven if I died. I appreciated his help and also his concern about my salvation, even though I was a stranger to him. I want to be a witness for God.
An Answered PrayerWhen my tire blew out on the highway,
Thanks for sending a Christian my way.
You showed Matt that you are always there,
When help came along, just after his prayer.
Bless that man, tell him "Thank you" for me.
And help me to use every opportunity,
When nothing seems to be going my way,
Let me show my children, "We just need to pray."
Thank You, Lord, as you watch from above
Thank You for help, and guidance, and love.
14 Are You Listening?
Journal Entry From 1987
"Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth." Proverbs 5:7
With my prayers for wisdom, I decided to read the book of Proverbs again and learn from the wise instructions of Solomon. In the first few chapters Solomon exhorts his son to seek wisdom. I came to this verse and seemed to hear myself saying to my own sons, "Hear me!", "Are you listening?", "Do you hear me?" The verse seems to be there to get their attention. With three boys, it doesn't take much wisdom to know that before I tell them something I have to get their attention. After they start listening I proceed with their instructions and finish with a warning, "You better remember!", "I'm not telling you again" or "Do it right". Solomon also gives us a warning as he says, "Depart not from the words of my mouth". When we neglect to read God's Word and pray, why should it startle us when God tries to get our attention? We get so wrapped up in other things that we don't hear God speaking and He has to get our attention so that we hear Him. Just as Solomon was wise and sought to teach his children to do what was right, God is all knowing and wants to keep us from danger. God calls us His children and warns us not to depart from His Word. With all His love He is warning us, to keep us in the way that is best for us. We need to listen to the Lord, "For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding." (Proverbs 2:6)
15 The Prayers Of Little Children
Journal Entry From 1987
"But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14
It is a joy to know that Jesus loves my little children. It is also a joy to see signs in my children that they know God and trust Him in the simplest ways they know how. Matthew just started first grade and says he remembers to ask the blessing at school. I hope by praying regularly at an early age, he will continue to pray and not be ashamed as he gets older. David likes to pray. He wants to pray at every meal and in the car when we go places and at night when he goes to bed. I believe God sees the sincerity in his heart even though he is only two years old. Daniel also prays. A few weeks ago in K'Mart Daniel saw a toy he wanted. He didn't cry when I told him that I didn't have the money for it. I noticed that he was standing in the aisle and someone almost ran over him with a cart. I then saw that he had his eyes closed and his hands folded. I asked him about it and he said he was praying for that toy. Although he is only 4 years old, Daniel has learned to pray to God, not just at bedtime or before meals, but to also ask God for needs and wants. Jesus wants little children to come to Him. I pray that my children will always remember to go to Jesus in prayer. (By the way... we went back and bought the toy.)
16 The Birth Of A Grandson
April 26, 2012
"Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged." Deuteronomy 6:1,2
I want to take a small break from the days of my journal entries, when my children were small, and go forward in time to April 26, 2012. I enjoyed being the mother of four boys and a girl and the memories have come alive with the help of my journals. Mike and I brought our children up in church and tried to follow the Lord for guidance. I worked toward goals, like getting one baby out of diapers before the next one came along. Getting them to feed themselves and clothe themselves was a great help which gave me more time to cook and clean. One of the biggest goals we celebrated was getting our children through school and college. People asked if I cried at graduation, but I actually shouted for that burden was finally lifted. As the boys began to get married, I was happy that we had done all we could to instruct them in God's Word and put them in God's hands as we had already done when they were born. When my daughter was married, I experienced the "empty nest" syndrome even though I still have one son at home. (He works full time and is engaged so he is rarely home.) The month after she was married I lost my job of almost 14 years and I felt like my job was over as a mother also. I knew that God had control of my life and I tried to trust Him as I worked at odd jobs around the house such as painting and putting tile in the laundry room. As God continued to supply our needs, I began to enjoy all the little tasks about the house that I had not had time or energy to complete. A year has passed and I praise the Lord for giving me this past year to spend time with my Mom and family, and wonderful days with my grandchildren. At my lowest point, Mike reminded me that my work was not done. My Bible reading brought me to this chapter on April 26, 2012 and I was reminded again that, just as I taught my sons and daughter God's Word, I can help them teach my grandchildren Bible truths in stories and songs. I also praised the Lord that day, April 26th, as a new son was born to my daughter and son-in-law. God is good and He has a work for us to do, no matter our age, or position on the road of life. I have been reading of the Children of Israel wandering in the wilderness, and now as they are ready to enter into the land of Canaan God reminds them to teach their children and grandchildren His Word. I praise the Lord that He has led me this past year as I wondered which direction to take in what seemed to be a wilderness of the unknown. I still don't know what plans He has for me because I still have not found a job, but I do know that my work is not done. I will always be a mother to my children and even greater, now I have four grandchildren (with two more on the way) and I am blessed.
17 Learning God's Word
Journal Entry From 1988
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalm 56:3
For devotions with the boys, we are going to start studying memory verses again, taking one each week and studying different Bible stories each night relating to that verse. Beginning with this verse, Psalm 56:3. Matthew read the 56th chapter of Psalms. (It was good to hear him reading God's Word.) We discussed this chapter and fears we have. Bible stories for the week included Daniel in the den of lions, Jonah and the whale, David and Goliath. As we finished the week with David, the shepherd boy, we explained that sometimes God can keep things away from us, but allows them to happen to make us strong and brave. As David overcame the lion and the bear, he undoubtedly gained confidence in God which also helped him convince Saul that he could fight against Goliath. The boys drew pictures on the back of their memory verse papers of things they are afraid of. Matthew drew a bear, a hippopotamus, and a leopard. Daniel drew a sad boy in the woods during a thunderstorm, trying to get to his house. Once during the week Matthew woke up with a nightmare and said he kept saying the verse to himself. another day I heard Daniel tell David as they went outside, "Jesus won't let any mean dogs get us. He'll take care of us." It's good to see them trust in God's Word.
18 In The Beginning
Journal Entry From 1988
"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." Genesis 1:1
This is our eighth Bible verse. I have been keeping their weekly verse papers. I want to put them together in books for them and spend a week in review soon. This week we are reading verses of Genesis 1 each night to cover the six days of creation. The boys need to be grounded in God's Word. I know they will study evolution in school and I don't want them to have any doubts in believing God's Word. They have joined the dinosaur craze and we have to be careful in letting Matthew read dinosaur books. The statements in the books are usually stated as facts and we have to explain to Matthew that they are guessing about information. It is important that our children understand that the Bible is all true since it is God's Word, and other books are sometimes "pretend" stories.
19 We Ain't Gonna Never, Never Get There
Journal Entry From 1988
"And your children shall wander in the wilderness forty years, and bear your whoredoms, until your carcases be wasted in the wilderness." Numbers 14:33
This verse was part of the study of Moses in Sunday School last Sunday. I could not help but think of 3 year old David when I read this verse. I could just hear him sadly say, "We ain't gonna never, never get there." Several weeks ago Mike was trying to find a house and he turned around about 4 times on the same street. David was so serious when he said half outloud and half to himself, "We ain't gonna never, never go home." Travelling almost 5 hours to the mountains last week, he again despaired of the long journey, "We ain't gonna never, never get there." Being in the car with the four boys over four hours made me realize how fortunate I have been not to have travelled with them for forty years in the wilderness. I thank God for our vacation and for the nice time we had at Tweetsie Railroad. Only once did we have to wait in line over 5 minutes for a ride. It was nice to hear only once, "We ain't never, never gonna get to ride the cars."
20 Prayers For A Piano
Journal Entry From 1988
"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us," Ephesians 3:20
I read Ephesians yesterday and decided to praise the Lord for His blessings on us. Paul said it as good as a man can. Christ is able to do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think." I often pray for things for weeks and maybe even months before I mention my requests to Mike. Last week I decided to tell him what I was praying for, before God answered. I would really like to have a piano and that is what I have been praying for. In less than a week God answered my prayers, but I may not have been the only one praying for a piano. Someone told my mother that they had an old piano they would give away, just to have it moved. We haven't been able to move it yet, but Daniel (age 5) already tells people that we have a piano. He believes with all his heart that God has given it to us, even though we have not seen it. After the boys had been in bed an hour, I went in to check on them and he was the only one still awake. He said, "Do you know what I've been doing all this time? I've been praying." I asked him what he was praying for and he said, "I've been thanking God for our piano." I believe God answered Daniel's prayers for a piano. Mike and I had been trying to see how we could afford one, and God gave us one. He always makes a way, where we see no way. Thank you Lord for doing exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think. Thank you for our piano and let us use it for Your glory and honor. Thank you most of all for giving us so many opportunities to show our children that You answer our prayers and also You hear and answer their prayers. Thank You for giving Daniel musical talent and I pray that You will help him develop that talent and use it for Your glory.
21 If Time Could Stand Still
Journal Entry From 1989
"Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon. And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day." Joshua 10:12-13
So many times lately there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, so I keep borrowing from tomorrow. I stay up late and that makes the next day even harder. ("It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep." Psalm 127:2) Daniel is playing Tee Ball and Matt is playing minor league ball and last week they had practices and games every night. (We stay faithful to church on Wednesday nights.) We eat supper early, 4:30, so the boys can be at practice from 5:30 to around 7:00. The boys are hungry again after practice so we feed them a snack before bed and my dishes seem to stay piled up in the sink. I am trying to teach the boys to "pick-up" their things and learn to do more for themselves but there doesn't seem to be enough time to get everything done. My sister agreed to watch David and Joshua so I was able to go with Daniel's class on a field trip. Early that morning I took David and Joshua to my sister's before school.. I drove her children to their school and tried to have Matt and Daniel back to their school before 8:10. We stopped at the stop light right near the school and it was 8:05. I sighed a big sigh of relief and enjoyed the few seconds of sitting still. Daniel noticed and said, "What are we doing, waiting for the clock to catch up with us?" I must organize my time so that I don't feel so rushed all the time. The sun will not stand still for me.
22 Take Time To Laugh
Journal Entry From 1989
"Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?" Genesis 18:12
Sarah may be criticized for laughing but I think every mother needs to be able to laugh. Children are indeed a pleasure. Many times things happen and people say, "We'll look back on this and laugh about it." I think a good mother must laugh about things along the way. I am not saying that I can do this all the time, but it helps the situation and keeps me under control when the boys are just being boys and minor things happen. (Of course there are times when accidents occur because of disobedience and this is certainly no laughing matter.) I find that the more time I spend laughing and playing with the boys, the better they behave. If I am upset about something and take it out on them, they, in turn, argue and fight with each other. Joshua is at an age of learning. He is 20 months old and has been trying to talk more. For so long he did not have to walk or talk because his three older brothers did everything for him. While I was cleaning the bathrooms Joshua tried to put things into the toilet, he climbed into the bathtub with his clothes on, and pushed his toothbrush down the sink drain. Recently he was sitting at the breakfast table and had almost finished his bowl of cereal. I went to brush my hair and came back to find half a box of cereal poured out all over the table and floor. Joshua was so pleased because a portion of the cereal had gone into his bowl. How can I be angry at a baby who thinks he has completed a wonderful task? I remember when David was around that age and he tried to get a pitcher of kool-aid from the counter. The pitcher was full and as he pulled it from the counter he emptied the whole amount on top of his head. It takes time for children to learn "cause and effect'. David is almost four years old now and he enjoys making kool-aid himself. He wants to do everything Matt and Daniel do. When they were getting ready to take a shower, David wanted to take a shower too. I said, "OK, but don't scream if the water gets in your face." He turned around to me and said, "Why can't I scream if the water gets in my face?" That's my boy.
23 Faith As A Grain Of Mustard Seed
Journal Entry From 1989
"And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you." Luke 17:6
We took a large sheet of white paper and glued mustard seed at the bottom. Each time God answers a prayer we add a new branch writing the prayer on the branch. Last night Daniel wanted to put "new baby" on the tree. We found out several weeks ago that he and David had been praying for a baby girl in the family. I am glad that they see this pregnancy as God answering their prayers because that is the way Mike and I see it, too. Our chart proved to be working. They were learning that God answers prayers and each prayer adds a branch of faith. After Mike put "new baby" on the tree, David said, "anteater" and even though we could not help but laugh we knew he was as sincere as he could be. We have put out 6 kinds of ant poison this summer trying to get rid of ants. We learned that David has been praying for an anteater to come and eat all the ants. Mike said that if he heard on the radio that an anteater escaped from the zoo he knew it would come to our house. Watching the faith and prayers of my children gives me more faith. Joshua is 2 years old and he enjoys praying. He can almost recite the "blessing" and evening prayers we have been teaching him.
More Thoughts...
David wants to buy a little dress for our new baby and he has faith that this is his baby sister. He was the first to tell me that he was praying for a sister. When I tried to tell him that the baby might not be a girl, he looked at me and said, "God knows." I will not argue with his faith.
24 Looking Back
Journal Entry From 1989
"And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62
I went down the old street where I used to live. It is hard to believe that is where I grew up. Things seemed peaceful and the neighborhood seemed safe while I was growing up. Now there are houses and apartments in almost every available space in that area. My mind also carried me back to the churches I grew up in. My three sisters and I began to sing together in church when I was 12 years old. My youngest sister was only 6 and people said they could not even see her face over the podium. The youth group had meetings several nights a week and often followed Preacher Arthur F Blackburn and sang when he preached at revival meetings. God called several young preachers from that youth group and we worshipped in tent meetings, street meetings, and cottage prayer meetings. When I think back to those times I miss the fellowship and joy we all shared, but I would not want to go back, just as I would not want to live on Columbus Avenue again. God has blessed me with a great husband and 4 wonderful, healthy children, and another one on the way. I cherish the fellowship and good times we share as a family. I am so glad that I do not have to look back to those times as proof of my Christianity. God is just the same today as He was 15 years ago. I know He lives, because He lives within my heart. I look back in fond remembrance, but I do not want to go back. I did not leave anything of value in my past, but the past has helped me value my present and look forward to the future. I pray that I can find the wisdom to lead my children into the joy and fellowship of Christ my Savior. I don't want to be like Lot's wife who looked back to the life and things she was leaving, but I want to be like Sarah who followed Abraham to a city where she did not even know where she was going. She followed in faith. Let us go onward with God in faith.
25 Growing Up
Journal Entry From 1989
"My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:" Proverbs 3:1
Matt will be 9 years old next month. I can hardly believe he is growing up so fast. Just last week he wanted to start parting his hair on the side so we bought him some mousse and I try to help him comb it the way he wants it each morning. He also asked for a haircut, the first time he has ever asked, so I cut the boys and Mike's hair yesterday. I believe when children begin looking in the mirror and trying to see themselves as others see them, it is an important time in their lives. They begin to take those important steps toward adulthood. I pray especially for Matt now. I pray that he will not forget what he has been taught. I pray that Mike and I have not only taught him Bible truths, but also the importance of those truths so that as he grows older and is faced with so many decisions he will seek God's will. I pray that we can continue to be the right pattern for him while also letting him begin to make decisions on his own. I pray that I will not be critical in matters where his decision is not exactly as I would do. I wish there was some way I could shield him from the influence of the world, but I pray that God will have a greater influence in his life, and that we can help prepare him now for even greater decisions in the future.
26 Easter
Journal Entry From 1991
"And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay." Matthew 28:5-6
Easter may be my favorite time of the year. The long winter days in the house always make me feel isolated and lonely. I feel cold and dead like the frozen ground. And then, just as I feel that I can bear it no longer, the birds begin to sing. Gentle breezes blow and the sun shines warmly on the earth. The grass is greener and flowers raise their faces toward heaven. All of these things give me joy in the springtime. My greatest joy comes from knowing that Christ died and rose again for me. "He is not here: for he is risen." Think of the power in those words. Think of how Mary's sadness and sorrow of heart instantly changed into joy and gladness. The angel even offered proof to her, "Come, see the place where the Lord lay." The empty tomb. The folded linen. The angel messengers all gave her assurance that Christ lives. As the earth is reborn in the springtime, I see signs of a living Christ all around me. It lifts my heart.
Holidays are special with children in the house. Susanna is already 10 months old. She is almost ready to start walking on her own. She is learning to say more words. She says "Mommy", "Daddy", and the names of her brothers. Her favorite word may be "doll". She looked in the mirror yesterday, and on seeing her reflection she said, "Doll". She gives great hugs to her dolls and anyone who says, "I love you." I bought her two little cloth dolls for Easter. I wanted to get her a bonnet, but she hates to have something on her head about as much as she dislikes shoes. She makes pretty little faces and of course her biggest smiles come after the camera flashes. The boys are growing up fast and are a big help with Susanna. Thank you Lord for springtime and Easter!
27 Walk In Love
Journal Entry From 1991
"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour." Ephesians 5:1-2
I believe that it is important to show God's love. John 13:34-35 tells us, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." Children are not embarrassed to show their love for others. Susanna gives tight hugs and kisses my face and follows me around saying, "Mommy, Mommy, hold-ya!" She does this because she loves me. Sometimes she doesn't want me to put her down and I sit and rock her, or read to her, or sing songs or play games. My children follow after me and want attention because they love me and I love them. We need to follow after the things of God in like manner. We can pray for our church and pray that God will give us more love for people. Sometimes when I don't have time to sit with Susanna I let her help me work around the house. She can play in my dishwater or put clothes in the dryer and it makes her happy. I think we need to work for Christ also. It is great to sing of God's love in church, but we need to follow Him daily. Walk with Him, talk with Him, and work for Him, as we worship Him.
28 Ephesians 6:1
Journal Entry From 1991
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." Ephesians 6:1
Matt has known this verse since he could speak in sentences. Daniel knows it also. David is learning the verses quickly and Joshua is trying to learn them. It is good to gently remind the boys of their memory verses as we go through the week. I am so thankful for my children and I pray that God will give us guidance in training them. I want to raise them up "in the Lord". Sometimes I just have to stop and ask God to show me the right path to lead them. We never get a second chance to relive the decisions made today. It is so important for me to obey the Lord-- just as I expect my children to obey me.
29 Christmas All Year
Journal Entry From 1991
"And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way." Matthew 2:12
The Wise Men met Jesus and departed another way. I believe everyone who meets Jesus departs another way. Christmas is past. We took down the tree and picked cedar needles out of the carpet. I have already patched a pair of new pants. The fruit we have not eaten is beginning to get soft. All the gifts have been put away and the ornaments have been boxed up. Yes -- all the signs of Christmas are fading. But -- I met Jesus long ago. Christ lives in my home all year. I love the joys of Christmas: making our "Names of Jesus" ornaments with the boys, decorating, the smells of Christmas goodies, time with family, giving presents and the list could go on. But I met Jesus and departed another way. Jesus gives me joy all year. The boys remembered so many of the names of Jesus we studied. I pray that each of my children will meet Jesus personally and know God; that's what Christmas is all about. That's what keeps away those after-Christmas blues. Jesus lives every day in my home and in my heart.
30 Happy Mother's Day!
A Mother's Joy
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." III John 1:4
I have enjoyed my walk down memory lane with the entries from my journals. I appreciate all the kind comments about these little anecdotes. I wanted to tell my readers that not every day was sunny and bright. I chose around four entries from each year. I did not tell about the broken bones and doctor visits. We experienced so many of the childhood diseases that a dear friend who ran a daycare would call for my opinion when one of her children had a rash or other symptoms. I typed in the entry I wrote at 2:45 am when their little dog died, but decided not to remind my children of those sad memories. I chose happy up-lifting stories and shared some of our ideas on how we tried to teach our children about prayer and God's Word. As I read these journals for the first time in over 20 years I was reminded how cars and washing machines broke down, and how we ate a lot of soup and peanut butter sandwiches, but God always provided our needs. As my children began to grow older and started making their own decisions and following their own paths, this verse from III John 1:4 became a favorite of mine. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." I rejoice with my children when I hear of job promotions, vacations, or new cars but my greatest joy comes in seeing them walk according to God's Word. Hearing my grandchildren sing Bible songs or listening to them tell me about Sunday School lifts up my heart and soul. Feeling their love encourages me to keep on following the Lord because they are watching MeeMaw. Happy Mother's Day to all you Mothers out there! Keep the faith. If the sun was always shining, where would the rain come from to water our vegetables and flowers?
